Spiritual Being Forgive Thyself

what i am learning since i figured out how to center myself with my spiritual being is to love and forgive myself. i have made so many mistakes especially b/c of the brain inflammation and past betrayals that i must clean the slate in order to move forward. 

the best prescription sometimes is getting to a place of understanding of oneself.

i just hope others find it within themselves to release their guilt and sorrow. dis-ease is also a product of emotional distress. love and forgive yourself. that is the first step. 

and, it's important and here is why:

this topic is important to forgiving others. until you have confronted yourself, your ego about your own misdeeds and mistakes, if they were intentional or accidental, then there is no way you can properly forgive another person. you cannot forgive someone just to do it. that does not solve the issue. we all have recurrent themes in our lives we must confront and stop repeating. so throwing out forgiveness is only half-assed and why i have been against it b/c it becomes an ego trip instead of an actual act of forgiveness.

i fight everyday to loosen the bounds of ego from my personage. sometimes i feel i have succeed. other days... not so much. i am embarking on forgiving myself for misinterpreting social cues and statements from other people who may have not meant any disrespect but my inflamed brain reacted instead of responded. i theme and habit of mine i must forgive in order to reduce its occurrence.

i am also trying to forgive someone who said they would help me and only did what she thought i was worth and i am worth so much more.

i am worth getting the medical and financial assistance i was offered so i can come to a place that rewards people's efforts. i am not a lost cause. i am a person with gifts i am barely tapping at this point. so is this person not living up to their offer b/c of their ego? control issues? or, is this person so entangled in their own cycle of reacting that they cannot escape to be of service?

b/c in the end we are here to be of service. someone commented that you can either be right or be happy. i contend: you can either be right or of service. money is for the ego. it's only good for this matrix's needs, beyond that we cannot take it with us. we can only take our knowledge and experience with us. so what do you want to take to the other side? the knowledge of being of service with the wisdom to guide your soul into its next incarnation? or the frivolity of money that offers no guidance, wisdom, knowledge, or understanding?

  that is why when i help people i will not harm someone monetarily. if there is an issue, the universe will provide a balance in the future. i have seen it. so Thank You to those individuals who have balanced out the scales in order for me to be of service to others. i greatly appreciate the support. you just don't know how much! 

i hope this explanation helps with why i say and do what i say and do. love yourself. forgive yourself. find your spiritual center. allow that energy to speak. only then can love, respect, and forgiveness be the hallmark of our society. b/c putting money before people is unethical, immoral, and decadent if our soul's purpose to gain knowledge and wisdom in our service to each other. 

-This essay was written on my Facebook status, so no capitalization...